The Story of My Blog

It was 29^th of December, a usual monotonous day, leaving me emotionally drained, comfortably numb; when I registered myself again with BlogSpot. I had already tried blogging before at “Beyond the Bounds” and failed. In a moment of boredom when I had absolutely nothing to do, I thought to try again. At that time, I had no idea where would it take me; this; the writing thing. Fascinated by my favorite biscuit and its taste, in a jiffy I named it “Life is Krack-Jack, 50-50”.

I never ever hoped to get readers, especially not the regular ones, like you Shilpa Dutta. Neither do you miss any post, nor forget telling me what you liked in it.

            (Me and Shilpa, a unique relation of friendship and critic)

                                              

A “biscuit” has brought me here. One of the blog posts, “An Untitled Real Story”, conveying the story of a girl, helped me bag my first proper internship as a Content Writer. I have to admit I wasn’t serious at all about this writing thing, but now the habit is such that I am typing today, with an injury in my right palm.

It’s hard to describe myself in words. Talkative, who can talk sense; give people useful advice or a simple girl who can go on talking nonsense for hours. Perhaps that is what I am doing right now; I have no idea where this post is heading to!! An optimist, positive about life; brave enough to face the challenges; or a pessimist who prefers to give up, sit in a corner and lament at times. I have but both the sides; the good and the bad one. The circumstances, the people around, and above all it’s we who decide which side to nurture and let grow. Like every year, I choose the positive side. The popular saying holds true for me too, I am a bundle of contradictions; a chemical reaction maintained at equilibrium by the people in my life. For this, I must thank you girls, Shivee Saurya, Sneha Sinha, Toshima Singh, Shayoni Mukherjee, Shagufta Parwin, Shikha Sinha for maintaining that balance. 

 ( With Shivee And Toshima on my side)

                                     (With Shayoni)                                                  

Sneha Srivastva, I would suggest your name to anyone who doesn’t have access to grammarly.com. Ankur Anand you are the best co-blogger one can have. Soumyajit Paul, you are the best source of encouragement. Anshumaan Singh, I always dream to achieve the level you have; long way to go though!!

Today, I know what I expect of this blog. In the one next year, it is going to be the sole evidence of my journey I have chosen to travel with my people. This page must depict which direction I head towards and where life leads me to. What I have learnt in this one year is what has been told long before, “To write well, you need to write what you know, write what you feel”.
In the New Year, I will bring to you the stories, I have lived buddy. Cheers, and a very Happy New Year.

Will you still be my friend?

Tried poetry after long....

Inspired by a friend's blog; heart delving into its own emotions.
My belief in friendship is as strong as my faith in God.
Especially for a friend, well this is the question!!! And you know who you are!!!
I dedicate it to all, who believe and rejoice the relation of friendship..
This is for you my buddy!!

A parasitic cocoon lingering till the end.

A moth that never emerges;
A seed that may not sprout.
The autumn not paving the way for spring…
I mean no good, I know no amend.
Will you still be my friend?

No quality I possess that a friend must have,
My build a broken pillar;
Desolated soul an abandoned shack;
A wandering spirit; void inside.
Will you peep into the hollow once in a while?

An impatient human, a temperamental being
The Foucault pendulum that know no end,
With damages irreversible, wounds refuse to mend
My cries and shrills; a cacophonous ride.
Will you still call it music and stand beside?

I have no strength to be your support,
Instead may fall treading and long for your hand,
The days when I am completely out of mind,
My company might bring you shame,
Not just once but a thousand of times,
Will you still call me a friend with pride?

Like a rivulet during monsoons,
Brimming with emotions, I might just cry.
Devoid of fervor, standing unmoved;
I might not feel when it hurts you the most.
Will you let loose or still hold me close?

I may waste hours talking,
For days, I may sit silent and watch you smile.
Months may pass, suffocating you with the stench of my guilt.
For years, I may not let you live.
Will you still come to my rescue and help me survive?

Myself, somebody, everybody, nobody, anybody..
Don’t know who am I?
I may just never give it a thought;
Or may not find an answer, if I try.
A mortal being full of flaws,
I mean no good, I know no amend,
Knowing well, will you ever be my friend?

Rise Above Caste and Religion

It has been five days, since I last posted. Well, it was Christmas, relatives pouring in for celebrations, some more woolen clothes' shopping and some LG (Life’s Good) cooking classes for me!  I was filled with enthusiasm on the Christmas day, heart filled with serene peace from praying in front of the Universal Father, lighting candles and confessing; when I wished one of my acquaintances a merry Christmas. Don’t promote western culture was the instant answer I received. I was baffled, by such a cruel display of emotions.The reply I gave is an appeal to every such person, who wonders why people celebrate all festivals with avidity. As a small child, I always used to wonder why we don’t have cakes and puddings on twenty fifth of December. I felt I am missing some great fun. Today, in this modern era, would you like to see your child in front of the television watching some movie pondering where his Christmas tree and gift is, just as you did? Why do we have to divide children and kill their innocence on the name of caste, religion or culture. Let them fly free like a bird. Let every person have the right to choose what they wish to celebrate or follow. In the end, these are just different ways to reach the same destination of resurrection.

A belated Merry Christmas, buddy!!

A Lesson Learnt from 'Bachchan Bol'

Today is one of those days when I feel too tired and exhausted to pen down my thoughts. Well, such days are many and that is the reason I have never appeared too serious about blogging. Sheer lack of determination, I guess!

While I am typing this today, my hands are trembling; there is dizziness in the head and ears red with the wintry breeze they have been subjected to all day. As I tried recollecting all the activities of the day, I found I did absolutely nothing. Neither I go to an office nor I am a home-maker; but a student of the kind who rarely studies or completes any assignment. I have been just shopping all the day. Well, now you would say, look she is that kind of girl who spends all her time and money shopping. Sure, I am, but if you aren’t a shopaholic, you won’t ever have an idea of how weary it could be!

It was nine o’clock when I was still in the mall, searching a perfect red jacket for myself. Finally, when I found one, I felt my limbs twirling in pain. Standing in the queue waiting for my turn at the billing counter, I made a mental note to get back home, have dinner and sleep tucking myself in the quilt.

I was about to doze off when mother asked me if I read the latest post at ‘Bachchan Bol’.I lay in silence when this question popped.  Ignore the following information if already aware, else visit the link: “http://srbachchan.tumblr.com/”. You would surely love to read what the greatest actor of the millennium, Sir Amitabh Bachchan has to share everyday with the commoners. I along with my mother have made it a habit to catch up on the blog before going to bed. 

                                   ( A snap from the latest post on the blog )

Suddenly, a scene from Kaun Banega Crorepati flashed before my eyes. A contestant asks Sir Amitabh Bachchan about how he manages to write a post every day. His only answer was, despite the busy schedule he manages to write else he feels incomplete without it. My mother now asks me for the third time, if I visited the blog. At this moment, I remember my blog, my incompetence and lack of determination.

Getting up from the bed running towards the study room, I reply back, 'He is not only a great actor but a great person from whom one can learn a lot.' I open my laptop and start typing, with absolutely nothing in mind other than him!!!

HOPE - "Ek Packet Umeed"

Recently, I got indulged in an argument with a friend about his status on an android chat application. It proclaimed, “Hope is but just a four letter word”. Taken aback at the intensity of his pessimism, I asked myself, is hope really just a word? No, my heart and mind screamed in unison, perhaps for the first time.

Hope is an attitude, buddy. Hope is the door-way to a happy life. When things go wrong, the only thing that keeps us going is the hope of things turning out to be better again. Imagine a situation where you know, no matter how hard you try to bring on a change, things will remain the same. What will life be like? Still, like a portrait on the canvas of a painter!! But we all know, life is dynamic, with change being the only constant in it.

When you give up hope, you give up a part of yourself. It is like scraping off that part of your body which you need the most to survive.

When your mother carried you in her womb for nine months, she hoped to see you; ‘a miracle’. When your dad held your finger and taught you to walk, it was with a hope that one day you could march on the journey of life without having him hold you. When your parents kept asking you to call them mummy, daddy but you just chuckled; it was hope to hear you talk. These were the little things yet most crucial to prepare you for the uncertainty of future.
From a fetus to an adult, if you could read this now, remember you are a result of someone’s hope.

I still remember, in the year 2008 when the entertainment channel NDTV imagine was launched. It aired a weekly show, “Ek Packet Umeed”; a spellbinding tale of hope and hard work. Fifteen women with their own heart-breaking tales, come together to make ‘umeed bhavan’, their abode with a family of their own choice. By selling packets of spices, poppadom, pickles, jams and jellies they earn their own living. Each of the characters have taken responsibility to bring delight to themselves leaving the painful experiences of past behind. Their only hope is a packet they sell!!

The show ends with a message that HOPE is not a four letter word, but an attitude. HOPE is honesty, optimism, persuasiveness and enthusiasm together, a word that sums up life well.

I would like to end this, by saying again, the things you know. You are going through a tough phase, where nothing seems to be alright. Even a shoulder to cry on, comforting hands that wipe your tears, a blissful hug, all fails to make you feel better. But remember, as this night has come surpassing the dusk, it too shall pass, paving way for the dawn. The sun is waiting in your porch to shine again, open your eyes, wake up, leave that comforting quilt of despair, and let the window of hope open, buddy! For whatever comes, it shall change, as life is not about either joy or sorrow, but just like the Krack-Jack biscuits, it’s 50-50.

The Misconception About Patience

My observations have made me realize that the most peculiar desire of humans is to wait.

That one moment, perhaps when we all were a restless child; someone told us to have patience. And there, buddy, we took it all wrong! If I ask someone what patience is, the most probable answer would be to wait without losing temper.

True, patience does mean to wait for the right time or the right thing but not to sit idle with a delusion that everything would change on its own.

Patience is defined as “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.”
Wait is “to stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or event.”
Look deep beneath the definitions of the two words, buddy. Have patience; try to change the situation by your deeds but don’t you keep waiting; don’t just stay where you are; keep moving!

Wait while standing in a queue, whether to book tickets for your favorite movie, to clear the various household bills, for your turn to visit the doctor or at the billing counter of the shopping mall. Stay where you are without losing your temper, but remember it is for such things where you should morally wait. After all, breaking the queue to get things done fast, wouldn't be right on your part!

But are you waiting for your numb limbs to feel lively again? Exercise as you must, may be starting from the minutest ones. Waiting for your loved ones to call and patch up? Rather pick up the phone yourself and talk. Waiting for that precious call for a position you applied? Inquire the progress of your application. Waiting to be notified about the joining date after receiving the letter of intent? Rather talk to the management about the reasons of delay; if inevitable, search for a new job. After all if you are competent enough to bag one, you surely can grab another! Waiting to come out of a bad relationship and feel free? Why not just do it today and move on? Have patience when you practice these, for they demand time and persuasiveness.

Whatever you wish should change, get up and alter it, buddy. If you are waiting for a perfect moment when your life would be without any sorrows and pain; thereafter you could start nourishing your dreams; working hard for your future; then perhaps you are waiting for a "LIFELESS LIFE" and would keep waiting till eternity. You won’t get to see such a flawless time, as life is not joy or sorrow alone but both together. All you need to do is to look at that imperfect moment perfectly. As I say, Life is just like those Krack-Jack biscuits, 50-50. Which taste to love and cherish, I leave it up to you, buddy. Have patience, but make your way and work, because you must!!

Fall in Love with a Writer

The theme isn't new buddy, but it still amuses me. Inspired by other write-ups, an account of my own observations of what it is to be with a writer!!! 

The writer’s persona

Writers are a bunch of extraordinary people. Deep within they are artists with a golden heart. Crossing theirs self made barriers, breaking the cocoon in which they hide; you will find yourself unlocking a treasure. You could perhaps never find a writer not loving or caring. They are social workers, keen observers, revolutionists and rebels.

They are impulsive people; fond of order and chaos at the same time. Fickle-minded; you won’t find them afraid or ashamed ever to change their decision. They understand it is humane to change mind; to accept if you have been mistaken and to look forward to a better solution, if it exists. Writers are bound to have no routine. They are meant to break rules, sometimes only to experience and write about it. They might wake up in the middle of night to note what crossed their mind. They might sleep all day or sometimes days and then write continuously when bestowed with a story. They may forget to eat, forget to bathe; sometimes lost in solitude carving the best tales from the fruits of fantasy.
If there has to exist a God of imagination, his name must be coined as the “writer”.

When you are in love with a writer

Accounting to their unpredictability, you could perhaps never understand them completely. Repeat the same words to them; on two different days and you would see them expressing two totally opposing sentiments. It will always depend on their state of mind.

Every writer is synonym of a plethora of emotions. Tell him you love him when he is happy with his work and you will find your reflection in some unknown character. Tell him the same when he is dissatisfied and you will get a cold reaction. A writer is just like a river, sometimes overwhelmed, happy with the monsoons while running dry at times yet thirsty to meet the gigantic ocean. No matter what the season is, it is always too easy and too hard, to reach that river bed. But when you do, you will find precious gems engulfing your life with their glow.

When a writer loves you

They will make you feel as their first and last love. They will never let past experiences come in the way. They give away all they have without any fear.

They make their beloved a perennial being. You will live in every word they write, in every word they speak. Enveloping your mortal body with their immortal stories, they will never let you die; never let you leave.

Making love is always going to be different when it is a writer; sometimes, too soft while sometimes too wild; but always heavenly. A writer just won’t sleep with you if not in love.

They might wake you up in the middle of night just to have a stroll at the highway or to recite a prose for you that crossed their mind; they might just take you on a sudden midnight or morning date; they might just cuddle up and sleep for long; they might just bring you a surprise, early morning; they might just hug you tight and speak nothing at all; they might bring you the old traditional love notes on the postcards; they might just cook your favorite dinner at morning; when away they might just call to hear your silence; they might just act sometimes too pure, too loving and sometimes too stubborn. When a writer loves you it is simply incredible!

Why not to fall for a writer.

Writers need solitude. They could leave you by yourself for days. Getting along with writers is not that easy; their mercurial disposition makes it tough.

If they like certain things that you don’t, be ready for an argument. They are adamant and simply won’t give in.

Hurt them and they might hurt you more by writing somewhere about it. Or they may write long letters to resolve the issue. You never know what is next!

Sometimes, they may just put you through a variety of circumstances to get that feel to write. At times, they may look at each person as a character. They may forget the subtle differences between reality and imagination. Some people say, when they have written all about you, when you have been completely put into words, they might need another inspiration. But you must not forget, writers will never fall out of love, short of words for you. They just might need another inspiration, for a brand new story.

Sometimes you may find them leaving you in the middle of sex, to write, as their heart has been submerged with emotions. They might let you sleep disheartened after a scuffle, and then caress after you have fallen asleep.

They will remember the minutest details, the spoken as well as unspoken words, the look in your eyes, the things you have forgotten and even the things you don’t want to recollect. Like it or not, they will remember it all.

Being with a writer will definitely not let your life be boring. Every then and now you will see a new trait. You will see a little of you in their every sketched character and a little of every sketched character in them. If it has to be a fairy tale, it has to be with a writer!!

An Untitled Real Story

Hey buddy; it has really been a long time. Well, if you wonder where I was all these days; it was exams that kept me away.
Before you begin reading, I must tell you, completing this article took away all the patience I have, all my skills; and made me realized how novice I am when it comes to writing.  Writing what you feel, and writing something that has happened for real makes the difference between the good and bad write ups.
I bring forth you a real story with a hope that you would read till the end of it; hoping I have done justice; at least a bit to the essence of it.

That gloomy day

After caressing her beautiful curls; taking her hand in his, he kissed her fingers softly; noticing the little hairs on it, he smiled. Embracing her in his arms; he whispered I love you. 

Untouched by the love showered upon her, she stood terrorized at the middle of the platform. Afraid that he might have offended her, he stepped back. 
Her innocent face was overshadowed with fear; her eyes filled with tears. Mustering all her courage, like a new recruit of strife, she asked him, if this is what people call expressing love.

Baffled he did not understand how to react. A few moments of silence lingered. 
It is love only when you want it to happen this way, he said after a deep thought.

And what if I don't, she asked.
Then it is perhaps molestation.

She felt paralyzed that moment, remembering the past all of a sudden. Without uttering a word, without wishing him a goodbye she boarded the train.

The bitter realization

It was not the first time she was touched; but she never knew before what a wrong touch was. All of a sudden she felt the pangs of being a victim. It was too late to realize and perhaps too late to tell. Locking herself in the lavatory, she shrieked. The continuous rumbling of the train, the furious winds; enshrouded her cries.  She felt a sharp pain engulfing her heart; the pain that would now stay forever.

She remembers it all now. She feels him digging his head in her belly, again. She feels his strong hands holding her. She feels his hands on her cheeks. Now, he starts running his hands on her back when suddenly the door bell rings.

I was saved perhaps from a more unfortunate pain, she thought. Should I be happy for that, or lament that he was my uncle, she shouted to herself. She fell on the dirty wet floor of the water closet and cried for hours.

She was thirteen then, she is eighteen now. People would ridicule her for realizing it so late. But how would she have known it before, when it was never told? She was kept away from all the harsh realities of life; only to let the truth dawn on her catastrophically someday, ruining her from inside.

Every night since then she has felt that touch. It not only ruined her relationship with others but the relation she had with herself. Every time she looked into the mirror, she pitied herself; just because she was a girl…

Yet Again

It has been a year since that gloomy day. It had made her afraid of the dark, silent and not so crowded areas. She had abruptly stopped talking to men. She is again travelling with her cousin by railways to join her college at time after a minor surgery at home. There are less people travelling that day yet she is unafraid as her brother is beside her.
After four hours of the journey, six men board the same train. 

Oblivious to them, she keeps looking out of the window enjoying the scenic view. Interrupting her thoughts one of the men asks her name. Unaware of his cruel intentions, she just answers him back and turns towards the window again. 

Her thoughts are intervened by some sultry song being played. She looks around and find six men, all of her father age enjoying the sordid lyrics and singing along. She then turns towards her cousin and finds his face colorless; engulfed with a fear. A cold shiver ran down her spine. They are not the age of my father, but of my uncle she said to herself.

I cannot let this happen to myself again, she pledges. Deciding she would sleep somewhere else in the coach, she gets up. Seeing her go, one of the men obstructs her way.  I own a restaurant and I am rich; he began opening his wallet. She turns around when another asks her to see it once and she might change her decision.
Now her brother has unlocked the chain of their luggage for her protection. They are allowed to leave but only to find the whole coach almost empty which meant she would be spared nowhere.


She sits in a nearby compartment, from where they could keep an eye upon them.
The night is not enjoyable yet, she hears someone among them speak.

The element is near and I need to get her, another replies.

After you are done send that element to me, another says.

Her cousin somehow convinces her to sleep. She sleeps in a compartment occupied by two people, one of them being a lady; the only people except them in the coach. After two stations, he gets back to their original seat where the men are and ask them to stop talking about her, as she got down at the previous station.

The next morning she is thankful to God for letting her reach safe. She checks herself in the mirror at her room. Seeing and admiring herself was one of her favorite pastimes; but it has been different since a year. Each time now when she looks at herself, she hates her pretty face which got her all the troubles and insult.

This Time Again

It is that time of the year again, when everyone is excited to go home. She is travelling with a classmate as her companion. While she is lost in a novel, she feels someone is impeccably staring at her. Along with her friend she gets up to get some food. While she is walking, she is suddenly touched at her chest.

Her friend asks the person to behave, while she stands in sheer disbelief. It is wow, replies the person; instead of being sorry.

They leave.
‘Why did you not say anything’ asks her friend.
Did you notice his bag with the certification logo on it?

Oh yes, it means the guy is from our batch; her friend screams.
Exactly, and he is enough educated to know how he should behave.

This was the third time, excluding the misbehavior of daily stalkers when she felt it was a wrong touch. She has now given hope of women being respected in the society after encountering such men; even from her own university. She has understood it is not just the pretty face but it is all about being a woman in a patriarchal society.

She reaches her home the next morning; picks up the newspaper to find a tale of a saint harassing women. She turns the pages to find one or two gang rape articles. She looks at herself again in the mirror, and weeps. She thanks lord for saving her twice. She feels an immense pain in her heart. Afraid that someone might hear her shrieks, she locks herself in a room, puts a towel in her mouth and cries. When this is the pain in her heart, how would one ever understand what a real victim goes through? 

Next morning, when she wakes up, she dress up like a princess, apply kohl round her eyes, puts on her favorite lip gloss and smiles like she has never known what pain is. After all, she believes the only way to let the monsters not win is to tell them women are not afraid anymore!!

That Feel After a Break-up

Recently, one of my friends has been completely shattered by his break-up. Every time he would talk to me, he would repeat the words, 'he feels emotionless now'.  He would tell me how he feels useless and pledges not to fall in love again. True, we do feel that way. Sometimes, moments of two months can take two years to forget and sometimes they can stay for a lifetime. But we must not forget that life has to go on, buddy.

I have been continuously telling him, these feelings will fade; all you need is to have patience; but like most of us that is what he fails to understand. He fails to have that patience. Every problem, every hurdle and every challenge we face in life; we look upon them as a dead end. But that is an illusion, buddy. When the light will shine, when the dawn will come you will get to see a window of hope; with the power to unlock it or keep it locked in your hands.

To my buddy with such a pain, I ask “will you cut and throw the body part which gets cancer or treat it?” If you would treat it, then you shall cure this pain too. You can achieve success in this; if you accept, few things need time. We did not grow up in a year from an infant to an adult; then why do we expect things to change overnight? Things will change and good things will come but on their own time. When things shall come, they will come.

Till then, I don’t ask you to stop grieving; grief, for there is no other way to feel relieved. Grief as you may, for there is no one way to do it. But understand that this grief has to pass. Every time you feel helpless, accept it that you would feel better again. It may take time, but it has to change and it will; buddy.

I am sharing a link of a beautiful note I read, that may convince you more than I could. I hope it does so, buddy.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/omega-course/how-could-she-say-to-me-love-will-find-a-way-/229142007135960

THE LETTER TO A MOTHER

Sometimes in this busy life, we forget to tell the most important people, how important they are. A letter that I found at the library, made me realize this today. I would just type the letter for you to read, for when it comes to mothers, nothing needs an introduction, the word is enough!

Dear Mother,

This is perhaps my first letter to you after I grew up. I have seen how you cherish those handmade cards and the verses I wrote in broken English in my childhood. When I look at myself, my ignorance today, I realize how much I have changed mom; but you never did.

I look back at life, and see you always there to take care! You carried me in your womb for nine months, bearing intolerable pain to make me see this beautiful world. Being a lady myself today; I can understand how badly your legs must have swollen at times, how restricted you have felt in sleep, how difficult it must have been to walk, to cook and sometimes just to explain how unwell you feel; yet you never complained of the pain.
Had you not woken up at five o’ clock, an hour before me, to prepare my lunch box, polish my shoes, iron my clothes; had you not arranged my bag when I was at kindergarten; had you not helped me with home work; had you not helped me in crafts, I would have perhaps remained uneducated. I cannot remember a single day, when you took a day off; I cannot remember a single day when you haven’t worked for us. Be it a minor cut, a scratch, a wound or fever, you sat beside my bed and comforted me always. From childhood till today, I find you the same, O beloved mother. 

But, I cannot even remember a single day, when I have asked, ‘Mom how do you feel today?’ Unlike you, I changed with time. I stopped writing verses to you, when I learnt to write correctly. Like every daughter in the world, I took you for granted, O Mother. I never remember sitting beside you caressing your head, applying cold compressions to bring your fever down. It’s not that you haven’t fallen ill ever but it’s about how I have never cared to pay attention to your needs.

The dishes made for meals have always been what we ask for; the shows being viewed on television have always been our choice. You never told me, neither did I ask what it is that you like. Today, as I see you ageing mother, it hurts to realize how I have always unheard your voice.

But above all these mistakes, there is a truth hidden deep in my heart. I have always loved you, mother. I slept peacefully at home, only after hearing you snore softly. That was my way to know you are safe and sound. Since the time I have been away from home, hearing to your voice has been the only way to stay close. Today, when I found it shaken, burdened with worries of health, my heart ached. Not just I, no child ever on this earth can describe all the sacrifices you made, all the love and blessing you have bestowed. I not even aim to try that. All I mean to say is get well soon, O mother. Mothers are the strongest creatures who endure all for their child. Endure this for me and get well.

You are the necessity to my existence.  Mitch Albom correctly says,

“But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begin.”
Till you exist, my story exists, O mother!

With love

Yours’ insincere daughter

THE THREE MISTAKES OF MY LIFE

Hey buddy; it has been long time since I wrote anything. 

Well most of the October I have been travelling, and most of the November I have been thinking hard, trying to introspect. 
I had loads of inspiration from beautiful Mother Nature to write during my visit to South India and have almost a dozen of unedited articles right now.

But today, a strange realization dawned upon, instantly making me post this. 
Like everyone else, my life has been tough too. No, I am not here to tell you how difficult the journey has been, but how I made it more difficult for myself.

Whenever faced with a difficult situation, I do try to overcome the obstacles but with a thought of it being a difficult situation in my mind rather than taking it just as a challenge of life. This is the first mistake of my life.
When you think of such situations as difficulties or obstructions life becomes a journey and you start passing the years rather than living. 
Now I take them as a challenge and feel life is a game; a wild adventure. I enjoy my trains getting diverted, travelling in general class, sleeping on floor at railway stations and any other stuffs that come my way. I take it as a game where every match needs to be played so well, that either I could share tales of my bravery or my craziness with folks.
This makes life easier, as losing has become just a part of the game adding up to my craziness tales; with many more matches yet to play.

During my schooldays, I had a friend, who would always tell me that “I make things bitter with my thoughts when they could get better”. I always thought of that guy as a jerk, never paying heed to his words - The second mistake of my life. How could I make it bitter I used to rebuke. Just by attitude he said, but I never understood.

Half of the time we are listening and following people’s unintelligent advice while ignoring the intelligent ones. Had I paid heed to those words, neither would I have this second mistake nor the first mistake of my life.  

Today, I ask, do you do the same buddy? Try it, tell yourself that things are good and will get better soon, and sure they would. This is indeed a psychological process. Our mind and heart accepts what we tell it. That is why, saying “All is well” like Aamir Khan in Three Idiots makes one feel so well.  Now all I do when disheartened is to gently place a hand on my chest and utter those three magical words, “All is well”. Trust me it works, buddy, after all Dil to Bacha Hai Ji(heart is a child).

 The biggest mistake, the third mistake of my life has been expectations. Like million other humans, I believed; a friend, a soul-mate, a lover or an angel could ease my pain. The tough experiences of the past do affect our soul, leaving a little sadness, bitterness in it. I committed the blunder of looking elsewhere for the balm of this pain. Someone would come and ease me of the pain like a magic I thought. I forgot, one could not be cured by external lotions when the wound is inside. Your soul is closest to you buddy. No one else can understand it like you, no one else can talk to that inner voice but only you. You have to cure it for your ignorance only wounds it and the heart. 
It took me a while to understand; cost me some friends, relations due to the expectations I had.
Sit for a day or two alone and then you will realize where the hurt is, what the cure is and all that you want from life. You have to be your savior buddy, for everyone else is busy carrying their share of burden, saving their lives.

Somewhere in this busy life,
Somewhere in this technologically progressive world,
One shut the doors to his heart and suppress his inner voice,
He forgets what makes him feel that he feels today, such loud is the noise!!!

Listen, listen this soft whisper buddy, your soul needs to talk to let things go by!! 

The Solitude or Loneliness

Well, really don’t know how to begin this one. I have been a regular subscriber of Lotus Tarot for the weekly interpretations of cards they send. It had almost been a year or so but today, the interpretation I received left me pondering. The subject said, ‘Solitude Vs Loneliness’.

Ah, this moment I remembered a poem we read in standard nine, ‘The Solitary Reaper’ by Sir William Wordsworth.

A couplet in the poem is

‘Alone she cuts and binds the grain,
And sings a melancholy strain;’

There was a question in the exercise that asked why the reaper was singing a melancholic song. To this, the answer our teacher gave was, ‘it is human nature to feel connected and get affected by things that are sad.’
Honestly, I just mugged up that answer to produce it the same in the examination without understanding the deep thoughts behind it. To me loneliness and solitude held no difference all these years. Thankfully, I understand the distinction now.

This is what I received from Lotus Tarot today.

“Solitude is something you WANT and feel comfortable with, a peaceful, relaxing and inspirational space, and loneliness is an UNWANTED experience of being on your own.”

To me, loneliness is a state of being separated from the outer world mentally while solitude is a state of being connected to oneself. Solitude is desirable while loneliness is feared. Loneliness fills one with an empty feeling while solitude is a way to introspect and fill that emptiness. One can be in solitude when alone, yet lonely in a crowd. So complex are human emotions and situations. It is too philosophical, right buddy? 

What makes me think profoundly is the fear of being lonely. We humans have a tendency to turn the time of solitude into loneliness and then search for an escape. I ask, how many times a day and for how many minutes or hours, do you sit, recollect and analyze your words,thoughts and actions buddy? Perhaps not at all or only a few moments, so busy we are with our Smartphone. The loneliness we feel without friends or a  lover make us enter into unfulfilling relationships and repent them later. I have personally known people who just could not bear living alone and enter into a relation with whoever they could find. This is a pitfall we dig for ourselves. 
One of my friends after his break-up, felt like he was in love with his best friend. This confession spoiled his friendship and later the realization of him being in the rebound phase of the relationship dawned upon. He not only lost his love but also a great friend. 

There are many such examples, I am sure you too can find around buddy.

Why are we so impatient? The next time when you feel alone, pen down the feelings, you would be astonished to see yourself write something awesome. Introspect, read or engage yourself in something constructive. Being with people is not the solution, for our world, our people should be found patiently buddy.

I would again repeat the lyrics of one of my favorites from Guns and Roses,

'Things will be just fine,

You and I will just use a little patience'.
Turn your loneliness into solitude not solitude to loneliness buddy, and for this all you need is just a little patience.

MOVE ON - A Simple Thing Yet Exaggerated

Hey buddy, long time!! Well these days, a lot have been happening in my life. Got placed (well placement stories will come up soon) and then had the opportunity to meet and know new people who are my motivation to write this post today. 
A single person whom I came to know has made me wonder how badly we humans can turn solitude into loneliness. How badly we can make the simple word, “move on” the hardest thing in the world to do. 
Why do we dwell in the past? Life is not that complicated, buddy; yet we make it one. 

That person made me think hard. I got deeply involved into his story, his pain and started living amid hallucinations. I found myself in sheer agony; the wounds I thought have healed, emerged again, laying bare all the secrets. I thought I had moved on. Was I wrong then, I wondered. Certain realizations dawned upon; life is indeed a relational algebra and perhaps that is why we study mathematics!!

Life is an echo of your own voice, a reflection of your own thoughts and an outcome of your own choice. Past is past, whether it has been happy or sad it is just a memory in the present. We don’t need to move on; all we need is let life move on. We need to let life take its flow, without hindering its path, remembering well that swimming downstream is easier than moving upstream. It is we who hold on to the past and not the past that engulfs us. Life always moves on that is why we always have a new present, and a new future.

I have heard people say your present, your future all depends on the past and you can’t just run away from it. Well, they are only partially correct. They do depend on the past; not on the happenings but the lessons learnt from it. You can’t just run away from it; if you do, you are running away from important lessons, buddy. Life is moving, life is dynamic and thus we hold no authority to stop at a moment and suffocate it.

It is rightly said, “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain”.
Get up and move on, it is an awesome weather buddy!!

SPARE ME THE ARROW, CUPID

Well, I believe love is more than just what cooks between a boy and a girl; but inspired by few heart-broken lovers I came up with this poetry..  

Oh dear lover,

There is nothing that love can give,

Just intolerable pain not letting you sleep.

It’s like a thunder bringing utter flood not just rain,

Smashing all on which it fall,

Leaving one with nothing at all,

When seize to exist, you would twirl in pain

Hands wounded, homes destroyed,

You try to rebuild, but in vain.

It leaves the lover searching for his own identity,

Pulling him close towards insanity.

Between two lives he would live each day,

One too strong, too bold,

The other staining the pillows, longing for a hand to hold.

Love can only leave wounded souls hovering around,

Turning life imperfect, which at a time was perfectly sound.

It is nothing but a heinous play,

Leaving the players crying all night, all day.

This devil acts too innocent in the start,

The violin sound, the ringing bells,

But when abandons you; tears everything apart.

Leaves you with a feeling of being at hell,

The beautiful sounds you heard turn into a cacophony.

Love is no sweet; it gives nothing but agony.

Oh dear lover, I warn you not to tread this path,

It would bruise your soul not just break the heart,

The heart can be mended but not the soul,

A hurt soul surpasses the meaning of human as a whole.

I repeat, there is nothing that love can give.

Just intolerable pain not letting you sleep!!!!

The Effects of Social Networking upon Society

The Effects of Social Networking upon Society

This article is exactly what I intend to convey.. Do have a look buddy...

LIVE ORIGINAL - LET THE PASSION BE

Ah, so we all have been running since last few days. Not literally, but mentally. Qualifying for the interviews of big companies, rejections and then again beginning from the scratch in hope to qualify for the next ones. That’s all what life has become now for almost every unplaced student in colleges.

I have been pushing my body too hard to complete all the work and mind to stay away from writing, music and concentrate only on studies. Alas, but I feel numb today. Today, I have been wondering what this race is all about. We all are different people having different aspirations yet participants of the same race. It seems so illogical to me. Of course, I understand “if passion is living, money is livelihood” (well, I give credits to Shivee for this punch line). But I ask how long will you suppress that desire of living in hope of earning a livelihood? 

It has been four days and I feel an uncontrollable urge to write. Have you been trying to keep yourself away from something you like for the namesake of work? If yes, let yourself free, go live buddy. It will indeed fill you with renewed energy helping carrying the workload further.

I absolutely love the last line of the movie ‘Switch’ where the actor says, ‘Sometimes we must realize that Human Race isn’t a race at all’.


Whatever you wish for is going to make its way to you, have patience.

For Guns n Roses have said it right,

“Said, woman, take it slow
it’ll work itself out fine
all we need is just a little patience
Said, sugar, make it slow
And things will be just fine

All we need is just a little patience”.

Have patience buddy, good things will come, but don’t let the original you die!

AN ADDICT - The Victim of the Virtual World

Today has been inexpressible. A sudden realization that I have been a victim of this virtual world kept haunting me throughout. NO, it’s not my account that has been hacked but my real life that has been compromised. I remembered once I attended a hacking seminar at my college; where the mentor asked how many of you have been hacked in some way or the other and only few people raised their hands. And then he said the rest of you don’t even know that your accounts or systems have been affected at some point!

That was me, ignorant, unaware; yet a victim. Alas, but real life doesn't comes with a format, scan or repair option. 

You think I am joking? Then I shall tell you a few scenarios.

How many times we ask our friends to check our latest photos and the ones, who don’t check out on them, are the ones declared as haters or jealous. If you are a girl, you know that I am not lying. Our pictures popularity makes us feel like a queen indeed. But think is that’s what beauty is? I thought it was skin deep!!!

It was hard, very tough indeed to decide to quit all kinds of social networking, I am not naming any, so don’t sue me for this one!!! I shall now stop talking in general terms and tell you how my real life account has been affected with digital virus.

I had been one of those girls who became happy enough to add all the family members in their social networking circle. As a Result, relatives stopped calling and started in-boxing. My welfare became my updates and photographs. I was assumed to be fit and fine if I fake so in them. Reuniting with old friends became forming groups or circles and chatting. Relationship has become chatting, messaging or voice calling using some applications. Sometimes, I and my friends would sit and just talk on the sites even though we could have come out of our hostel rooms and talked in the fresh air. I don’t know how many birthdays and anniversaries I will forget now when I have left these sites. I don’t know how many wishes would I have got if I wouldn't have been active earlier on them.

Any sadness, happiness or an event of life became worth updating before worth remembering and preserving them in heart. I feel emotionally blank, uncomfortably numb today. I assumed emotions to be updates. I updated and forgot. Real tears were replaced by the digital ones, alas; I don’t remember the last time I actually talked to a friend about a problem meeting him personally instead of chatting. I didn't know when a dedicated poetry became a photograph caption. General knowledge meant liking the pages, and reading the updates instead of voracious reading in real life.

Oh, yes, I have been an addict. And you think, this is not the case with you? Just leave the network few days before your birthday or on the day when you are upset, and see yourself facing the turmoil I have been mentioning throughout the post.

May be I would have lesser talks with my old friends now, but when we will connect on telephone or meet in real that would be emotionally satisfactory. I will feel the love in their voice and could see their expressions rather than the smileys.I would actually get to know my real and digital friends now.I would even get more time for some fruitful work. My back and hand would stop paining, eyes hurting and I would be left with an ample amount of time to relive the real old golden days rather than the text someone typed and sent on the network. Photographs would again mean memories to be preserved and not something to boast about.

The very reason of so much betrayal, in relationships today is digitization. Artificial intelligence is yet not so intelligent to capture the human emotions. They say eyes speak about your heart, I ask could you see them over the internet?

I feel awesome to get back to my life!!! May be I am not totally correct and some of the things don’t hold true for you, but one of them will, today or tomorrow. You too know I have made a valid point. Sit, think, what your life will be without networking and android, after all they are luxuries not necessity!
Get back your life, buddy. I have already started singing,” Jeene lagi hun pehle se jyada(I feel livelier than before)”!!!!

BEING YOURSELF

While browsing through YouTube today, I just happened to click on an old classmate’s advertisement.People in the ad kept telling the children that they would be the next Einstein, Kishore, Obama,  Michael Jackson etc. And the children plead, ‘Instead of being the next somebody can I please be the first me?’

How true indeed, we spent almost all of our life trying to be like someone. We try imitating our role models, or just try to become what others want us to be like. Satisfying others, we lose ourselves in the process. We forget that life is not a struggle of creating self but a beautiful challenge to find the self hidden within. 

We humans are called so, because we are the ones with intellect and power of rational thinking on the planet. I ask where that power of your's go; when you try to please others by losing a part of yourself. There is a beautiful song, ‘When I’m Gone’ from one of my favorite bands 3 Doors Down, where a line says ‘Part of me is fighting this, but part of me is gone’. I second that. We have already lost a part of ourselves trying to be a part of the ‘be someone‘ race. But don’t lose the rest of you buddy.

Sit, remember, introspect what you wished to be and what have you become.Definitely,you are going to find huge differences.

 I would repeat the same words that can be found everywhere on the internet. Don’t try to please others, your people would come to you and stay without asking you to change a bit.

I am definitely going to be the first me, the first SR. Would you too join me in the journey??

Have a look, at this beautiful ad, it's inspiring buddy!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhCk57UmE6o

Gangs Of Berozgaar : Teaser (Udghatan Scene) - Official Video HD

Found this teaser on youtube. Now, I guess it is going to be difficult to wait for long.. Placement to "keh ke lege"

SIMPLE THINGS THAT CAN MAKE YOUR DAY

Hey buddy; I am having an awesome day today. I don’t know how you feel today (well how would I, you haven’t told me) but still I have something to make you feel better. If you are low, read on and if you are happy, then too read on and appreciate. Ha-ha, you simply, have no escape.

Yesterday I had a bad day, while today has been simply amazing.
 The experiences of yesterday and today have been completely opposite and even if it’s still noon, I can predict I am going to have a great day. 

Yesterday, I was completely low. The day started with a heated argument with someone; though I won in the end and then rejected the person’s apology; made me feel like a queen; eh!! But then, it kept disturbing me all the time. It took me complete 24 hours to understand that we forgive for easing our own souls rather than for the person at fault. Throughout the day, I blabbered on and on about it. You know what it did? Ruined my whole day, I could not study, could not work and failed to enjoy the awesome weather of Bhubaneswar. And I went to bed with a sad heart and an angry mind. 

And then today, a new day arrived. I woke up with a headache early at 7a.m. Yes, that’s really early when you are staying at hostel! I decided that moment to accept the apology and leave the matter, so as to cool down my head. And then, the day wrote its own destiny it seems. Not just wrote some awesome lyrics but could even decide the melody of it, such early in the morning. I was happy at the event, when one of my batch mates praised me for this blog. Well, that really made my day. 

Little forgiveness, little compliments and a little let go and move on attitude, trust me that’s all what it takes to be happy. So, take a moment to forgive someone and that will surely make you feel better. Your blood is precious, don’t boil it for someone else buddy.

Compliment; we all keep criticizing others all day round but love to hear compliments about ourselves. Take a moment, appreciate someone’s good deeds and they will definitely pay you back.
Wait, you think there are other reasons that could spoil your day? Well, if it’s about ‘You can’t achieve that dream attitude’, scroll down and read the life quotes; or if it’s a medical condition, then take my words you are going to be fine soon; or if it is something else tell me buddy, I have words to calm you down.
Whoever said, ‘life may not be a bed of roses; but all the pain is worth taking’, is partially correct; I guess. Buy my words, all the pain is worth taking and life is a bed of roses indeed; yeah the difference being that the one who laid the roses forgot to pluck the thorns! Watch your step, if you tread carefully, you might not ever step your foot on a thorn, and in case you did, there are many other roses to walk on buddy!! Walk on it and rock it!!! 

Life Quotes

Disclaimer : These quotes don't belong to me I give sole credit to its original writers.
I just want to take a moment and tell you what you are. If you are upset or telling yourself you are good for nothing. I would like to tell you, that you are the alpha and the omega and trust me you have immense capabilities. And surely you are going to rock; if not today then tomorrow but one day you will. Just be a little patient, for whoever said that patient is the best virtue one can possess, wasn't a fool; but an intelligent person who knew life more than us.
I am sharing some of my favorite quotes. They are worth a read
1. Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
2. Life is similar to a boxing game. Defeat is not declared when u fall down; its declared when u refuse to get up.
3. Life itself has no meaning in it. Life is an opportunity to create meaning.
And I just love this quote. Indeed, we should find solutions rather than complaining about the problems.
4. Live life like a pair of walking feet; the forward foot has no pride & the foot behind has no shame cause they both know their situation will change.
That conveys the same thing as “every dog has his day”. So cheer up buddy, whatever you are thinking about, whatever you are upset about, it’s surely going to change. And you will rock. Be it in whatever field you wish, but you will surely.
Don’t let failures knock you down. Keep working.
May be its tasteless, fruitless right now but the struggle will be worth it.
Because as this quote says, “Sometimes we struggle through a tasteless coffee till the last sip then  find sugar lying at the bottom of the cup. That’s life sweetened but not stirred well." Life is a beautiful song only the lyrics are messed up. Listen carefully buddy, and yes you will get it right and sing it well…


   

Gangs Of Berozgaar Official HD Trailer

Again something about the placement season, from the emerging makers of my college...
Would be looking forward to it.....

PASSION - LET THE FUEL BURN INSIDE....

I just want to share an experience today. Since one and a half month I had been trying to study hard for the campus drives. But, I couldn't even complete a quarter of the syllabus. 
Unprepared, but lucky enough to clear an aptitude test; I went for my first interview ever.
The first question was about my passion. I told the interviewer that I loved writing and singing. The very next moment he asked me, what did I write yesterday.
And I was mum. I was unprepared and thus did not have any mind-blowing answers. Bluntly, I told him I was preparing for the interview.
And then he said, I see how passionate you are!!

And this was the moment I know I won't get the job!!!

 It cost me that great job (that was a big company indeed) of 5 lakh per annum to learn this simple fact;" you are passionate about the things you can’t live without".

During this phase of life, many of us are being bestowed with free advice like give your hundred percent to studies these few months and then carry with your passion; be it singing, acting, gaming, writing or anything else. 

Take my words instead; the recruiters don’t test your knowledge but your attitude. They look for passionate people, because passion is what keeps one going at times of adversity. If you can take a break for a while, then you are not passionate about it.

Today, it pains to turn back and see how I have left writing.

What am I doing now??Writing,Eh… That’s the best time of my day. And the best part of my life is all the time that I have spent writing. These days, when i am back to writing, I find my studies prospering too. Try it, you surely won't regret it.

 You are grown up, buddy. You too know what eases your soul. Let live your passion, keep the fuel burning inside!!!