HOPE - "Ek Packet Umeed"

Recently, I got indulged in an argument with a friend about his status on an android chat application. It proclaimed, “Hope is but just a four letter word”. Taken aback at the intensity of his pessimism, I asked myself, is hope really just a word? No, my heart and mind screamed in unison, perhaps for the first time.

Hope is an attitude, buddy. Hope is the door-way to a happy life. When things go wrong, the only thing that keeps us going is the hope of things turning out to be better again. Imagine a situation where you know, no matter how hard you try to bring on a change, things will remain the same. What will life be like? Still, like a portrait on the canvas of a painter!! But we all know, life is dynamic, with change being the only constant in it.

When you give up hope, you give up a part of yourself. It is like scraping off that part of your body which you need the most to survive.

When your mother carried you in her womb for nine months, she hoped to see you; ‘a miracle’. When your dad held your finger and taught you to walk, it was with a hope that one day you could march on the journey of life without having him hold you. When your parents kept asking you to call them mummy, daddy but you just chuckled; it was hope to hear you talk. These were the little things yet most crucial to prepare you for the uncertainty of future.
From a fetus to an adult, if you could read this now, remember you are a result of someone’s hope.

I still remember, in the year 2008 when the entertainment channel NDTV imagine was launched. It aired a weekly show, “Ek Packet Umeed”; a spellbinding tale of hope and hard work. Fifteen women with their own heart-breaking tales, come together to make ‘umeed bhavan’, their abode with a family of their own choice. By selling packets of spices, poppadom, pickles, jams and jellies they earn their own living. Each of the characters have taken responsibility to bring delight to themselves leaving the painful experiences of past behind. Their only hope is a packet they sell!!

The show ends with a message that HOPE is not a four letter word, but an attitude. HOPE is honesty, optimism, persuasiveness and enthusiasm together, a word that sums up life well.

I would like to end this, by saying again, the things you know. You are going through a tough phase, where nothing seems to be alright. Even a shoulder to cry on, comforting hands that wipe your tears, a blissful hug, all fails to make you feel better. But remember, as this night has come surpassing the dusk, it too shall pass, paving way for the dawn. The sun is waiting in your porch to shine again, open your eyes, wake up, leave that comforting quilt of despair, and let the window of hope open, buddy! For whatever comes, it shall change, as life is not about either joy or sorrow, but just like the Krack-Jack biscuits, it’s 50-50.

The Misconception About Patience

My observations have made me realize that the most peculiar desire of humans is to wait.

That one moment, perhaps when we all were a restless child; someone told us to have patience. And there, buddy, we took it all wrong! If I ask someone what patience is, the most probable answer would be to wait without losing temper.

True, patience does mean to wait for the right time or the right thing but not to sit idle with a delusion that everything would change on its own.

Patience is defined as “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.”
Wait is “to stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or event.”
Look deep beneath the definitions of the two words, buddy. Have patience; try to change the situation by your deeds but don’t you keep waiting; don’t just stay where you are; keep moving!

Wait while standing in a queue, whether to book tickets for your favorite movie, to clear the various household bills, for your turn to visit the doctor or at the billing counter of the shopping mall. Stay where you are without losing your temper, but remember it is for such things where you should morally wait. After all, breaking the queue to get things done fast, wouldn't be right on your part!

But are you waiting for your numb limbs to feel lively again? Exercise as you must, may be starting from the minutest ones. Waiting for your loved ones to call and patch up? Rather pick up the phone yourself and talk. Waiting for that precious call for a position you applied? Inquire the progress of your application. Waiting to be notified about the joining date after receiving the letter of intent? Rather talk to the management about the reasons of delay; if inevitable, search for a new job. After all if you are competent enough to bag one, you surely can grab another! Waiting to come out of a bad relationship and feel free? Why not just do it today and move on? Have patience when you practice these, for they demand time and persuasiveness.

Whatever you wish should change, get up and alter it, buddy. If you are waiting for a perfect moment when your life would be without any sorrows and pain; thereafter you could start nourishing your dreams; working hard for your future; then perhaps you are waiting for a "LIFELESS LIFE" and would keep waiting till eternity. You won’t get to see such a flawless time, as life is not joy or sorrow alone but both together. All you need to do is to look at that imperfect moment perfectly. As I say, Life is just like those Krack-Jack biscuits, 50-50. Which taste to love and cherish, I leave it up to you, buddy. Have patience, but make your way and work, because you must!!

Fall in Love with a Writer

The theme isn't new buddy, but it still amuses me. Inspired by other write-ups, an account of my own observations of what it is to be with a writer!!! 

The writer’s persona

Writers are a bunch of extraordinary people. Deep within they are artists with a golden heart. Crossing theirs self made barriers, breaking the cocoon in which they hide; you will find yourself unlocking a treasure. You could perhaps never find a writer not loving or caring. They are social workers, keen observers, revolutionists and rebels.

They are impulsive people; fond of order and chaos at the same time. Fickle-minded; you won’t find them afraid or ashamed ever to change their decision. They understand it is humane to change mind; to accept if you have been mistaken and to look forward to a better solution, if it exists. Writers are bound to have no routine. They are meant to break rules, sometimes only to experience and write about it. They might wake up in the middle of night to note what crossed their mind. They might sleep all day or sometimes days and then write continuously when bestowed with a story. They may forget to eat, forget to bathe; sometimes lost in solitude carving the best tales from the fruits of fantasy.
If there has to exist a God of imagination, his name must be coined as the “writer”.

When you are in love with a writer

Accounting to their unpredictability, you could perhaps never understand them completely. Repeat the same words to them; on two different days and you would see them expressing two totally opposing sentiments. It will always depend on their state of mind.

Every writer is synonym of a plethora of emotions. Tell him you love him when he is happy with his work and you will find your reflection in some unknown character. Tell him the same when he is dissatisfied and you will get a cold reaction. A writer is just like a river, sometimes overwhelmed, happy with the monsoons while running dry at times yet thirsty to meet the gigantic ocean. No matter what the season is, it is always too easy and too hard, to reach that river bed. But when you do, you will find precious gems engulfing your life with their glow.

When a writer loves you

They will make you feel as their first and last love. They will never let past experiences come in the way. They give away all they have without any fear.

They make their beloved a perennial being. You will live in every word they write, in every word they speak. Enveloping your mortal body with their immortal stories, they will never let you die; never let you leave.

Making love is always going to be different when it is a writer; sometimes, too soft while sometimes too wild; but always heavenly. A writer just won’t sleep with you if not in love.

They might wake you up in the middle of night just to have a stroll at the highway or to recite a prose for you that crossed their mind; they might just take you on a sudden midnight or morning date; they might just cuddle up and sleep for long; they might just bring you a surprise, early morning; they might just hug you tight and speak nothing at all; they might bring you the old traditional love notes on the postcards; they might just cook your favorite dinner at morning; when away they might just call to hear your silence; they might just act sometimes too pure, too loving and sometimes too stubborn. When a writer loves you it is simply incredible!

Why not to fall for a writer.

Writers need solitude. They could leave you by yourself for days. Getting along with writers is not that easy; their mercurial disposition makes it tough.

If they like certain things that you don’t, be ready for an argument. They are adamant and simply won’t give in.

Hurt them and they might hurt you more by writing somewhere about it. Or they may write long letters to resolve the issue. You never know what is next!

Sometimes, they may just put you through a variety of circumstances to get that feel to write. At times, they may look at each person as a character. They may forget the subtle differences between reality and imagination. Some people say, when they have written all about you, when you have been completely put into words, they might need another inspiration. But you must not forget, writers will never fall out of love, short of words for you. They just might need another inspiration, for a brand new story.

Sometimes you may find them leaving you in the middle of sex, to write, as their heart has been submerged with emotions. They might let you sleep disheartened after a scuffle, and then caress after you have fallen asleep.

They will remember the minutest details, the spoken as well as unspoken words, the look in your eyes, the things you have forgotten and even the things you don’t want to recollect. Like it or not, they will remember it all.

Being with a writer will definitely not let your life be boring. Every then and now you will see a new trait. You will see a little of you in their every sketched character and a little of every sketched character in them. If it has to be a fairy tale, it has to be with a writer!!

An Untitled Real Story

Hey buddy; it has really been a long time. Well, if you wonder where I was all these days; it was exams that kept me away.
Before you begin reading, I must tell you, completing this article took away all the patience I have, all my skills; and made me realized how novice I am when it comes to writing.  Writing what you feel, and writing something that has happened for real makes the difference between the good and bad write ups.
I bring forth you a real story with a hope that you would read till the end of it; hoping I have done justice; at least a bit to the essence of it.

That gloomy day

After caressing her beautiful curls; taking her hand in his, he kissed her fingers softly; noticing the little hairs on it, he smiled. Embracing her in his arms; he whispered I love you. 

Untouched by the love showered upon her, she stood terrorized at the middle of the platform. Afraid that he might have offended her, he stepped back. 
Her innocent face was overshadowed with fear; her eyes filled with tears. Mustering all her courage, like a new recruit of strife, she asked him, if this is what people call expressing love.

Baffled he did not understand how to react. A few moments of silence lingered. 
It is love only when you want it to happen this way, he said after a deep thought.

And what if I don't, she asked.
Then it is perhaps molestation.

She felt paralyzed that moment, remembering the past all of a sudden. Without uttering a word, without wishing him a goodbye she boarded the train.

The bitter realization

It was not the first time she was touched; but she never knew before what a wrong touch was. All of a sudden she felt the pangs of being a victim. It was too late to realize and perhaps too late to tell. Locking herself in the lavatory, she shrieked. The continuous rumbling of the train, the furious winds; enshrouded her cries.  She felt a sharp pain engulfing her heart; the pain that would now stay forever.

She remembers it all now. She feels him digging his head in her belly, again. She feels his strong hands holding her. She feels his hands on her cheeks. Now, he starts running his hands on her back when suddenly the door bell rings.

I was saved perhaps from a more unfortunate pain, she thought. Should I be happy for that, or lament that he was my uncle, she shouted to herself. She fell on the dirty wet floor of the water closet and cried for hours.

She was thirteen then, she is eighteen now. People would ridicule her for realizing it so late. But how would she have known it before, when it was never told? She was kept away from all the harsh realities of life; only to let the truth dawn on her catastrophically someday, ruining her from inside.

Every night since then she has felt that touch. It not only ruined her relationship with others but the relation she had with herself. Every time she looked into the mirror, she pitied herself; just because she was a girl…

Yet Again

It has been a year since that gloomy day. It had made her afraid of the dark, silent and not so crowded areas. She had abruptly stopped talking to men. She is again travelling with her cousin by railways to join her college at time after a minor surgery at home. There are less people travelling that day yet she is unafraid as her brother is beside her.
After four hours of the journey, six men board the same train. 

Oblivious to them, she keeps looking out of the window enjoying the scenic view. Interrupting her thoughts one of the men asks her name. Unaware of his cruel intentions, she just answers him back and turns towards the window again. 

Her thoughts are intervened by some sultry song being played. She looks around and find six men, all of her father age enjoying the sordid lyrics and singing along. She then turns towards her cousin and finds his face colorless; engulfed with a fear. A cold shiver ran down her spine. They are not the age of my father, but of my uncle she said to herself.

I cannot let this happen to myself again, she pledges. Deciding she would sleep somewhere else in the coach, she gets up. Seeing her go, one of the men obstructs her way.  I own a restaurant and I am rich; he began opening his wallet. She turns around when another asks her to see it once and she might change her decision.
Now her brother has unlocked the chain of their luggage for her protection. They are allowed to leave but only to find the whole coach almost empty which meant she would be spared nowhere.


She sits in a nearby compartment, from where they could keep an eye upon them.
The night is not enjoyable yet, she hears someone among them speak.

The element is near and I need to get her, another replies.

After you are done send that element to me, another says.

Her cousin somehow convinces her to sleep. She sleeps in a compartment occupied by two people, one of them being a lady; the only people except them in the coach. After two stations, he gets back to their original seat where the men are and ask them to stop talking about her, as she got down at the previous station.

The next morning she is thankful to God for letting her reach safe. She checks herself in the mirror at her room. Seeing and admiring herself was one of her favorite pastimes; but it has been different since a year. Each time now when she looks at herself, she hates her pretty face which got her all the troubles and insult.

This Time Again

It is that time of the year again, when everyone is excited to go home. She is travelling with a classmate as her companion. While she is lost in a novel, she feels someone is impeccably staring at her. Along with her friend she gets up to get some food. While she is walking, she is suddenly touched at her chest.

Her friend asks the person to behave, while she stands in sheer disbelief. It is wow, replies the person; instead of being sorry.

They leave.
‘Why did you not say anything’ asks her friend.
Did you notice his bag with the certification logo on it?

Oh yes, it means the guy is from our batch; her friend screams.
Exactly, and he is enough educated to know how he should behave.

This was the third time, excluding the misbehavior of daily stalkers when she felt it was a wrong touch. She has now given hope of women being respected in the society after encountering such men; even from her own university. She has understood it is not just the pretty face but it is all about being a woman in a patriarchal society.

She reaches her home the next morning; picks up the newspaper to find a tale of a saint harassing women. She turns the pages to find one or two gang rape articles. She looks at herself again in the mirror, and weeps. She thanks lord for saving her twice. She feels an immense pain in her heart. Afraid that someone might hear her shrieks, she locks herself in a room, puts a towel in her mouth and cries. When this is the pain in her heart, how would one ever understand what a real victim goes through? 

Next morning, when she wakes up, she dress up like a princess, apply kohl round her eyes, puts on her favorite lip gloss and smiles like she has never known what pain is. After all, she believes the only way to let the monsters not win is to tell them women are not afraid anymore!!

That Feel After a Break-up

Recently, one of my friends has been completely shattered by his break-up. Every time he would talk to me, he would repeat the words, 'he feels emotionless now'.  He would tell me how he feels useless and pledges not to fall in love again. True, we do feel that way. Sometimes, moments of two months can take two years to forget and sometimes they can stay for a lifetime. But we must not forget that life has to go on, buddy.

I have been continuously telling him, these feelings will fade; all you need is to have patience; but like most of us that is what he fails to understand. He fails to have that patience. Every problem, every hurdle and every challenge we face in life; we look upon them as a dead end. But that is an illusion, buddy. When the light will shine, when the dawn will come you will get to see a window of hope; with the power to unlock it or keep it locked in your hands.

To my buddy with such a pain, I ask “will you cut and throw the body part which gets cancer or treat it?” If you would treat it, then you shall cure this pain too. You can achieve success in this; if you accept, few things need time. We did not grow up in a year from an infant to an adult; then why do we expect things to change overnight? Things will change and good things will come but on their own time. When things shall come, they will come.

Till then, I don’t ask you to stop grieving; grief, for there is no other way to feel relieved. Grief as you may, for there is no one way to do it. But understand that this grief has to pass. Every time you feel helpless, accept it that you would feel better again. It may take time, but it has to change and it will; buddy.

I am sharing a link of a beautiful note I read, that may convince you more than I could. I hope it does so, buddy.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/omega-course/how-could-she-say-to-me-love-will-find-a-way-/229142007135960

THE LETTER TO A MOTHER

Sometimes in this busy life, we forget to tell the most important people, how important they are. A letter that I found at the library, made me realize this today. I would just type the letter for you to read, for when it comes to mothers, nothing needs an introduction, the word is enough!

Dear Mother,

This is perhaps my first letter to you after I grew up. I have seen how you cherish those handmade cards and the verses I wrote in broken English in my childhood. When I look at myself, my ignorance today, I realize how much I have changed mom; but you never did.

I look back at life, and see you always there to take care! You carried me in your womb for nine months, bearing intolerable pain to make me see this beautiful world. Being a lady myself today; I can understand how badly your legs must have swollen at times, how restricted you have felt in sleep, how difficult it must have been to walk, to cook and sometimes just to explain how unwell you feel; yet you never complained of the pain.
Had you not woken up at five o’ clock, an hour before me, to prepare my lunch box, polish my shoes, iron my clothes; had you not arranged my bag when I was at kindergarten; had you not helped me with home work; had you not helped me in crafts, I would have perhaps remained uneducated. I cannot remember a single day, when you took a day off; I cannot remember a single day when you haven’t worked for us. Be it a minor cut, a scratch, a wound or fever, you sat beside my bed and comforted me always. From childhood till today, I find you the same, O beloved mother. 

But, I cannot even remember a single day, when I have asked, ‘Mom how do you feel today?’ Unlike you, I changed with time. I stopped writing verses to you, when I learnt to write correctly. Like every daughter in the world, I took you for granted, O Mother. I never remember sitting beside you caressing your head, applying cold compressions to bring your fever down. It’s not that you haven’t fallen ill ever but it’s about how I have never cared to pay attention to your needs.

The dishes made for meals have always been what we ask for; the shows being viewed on television have always been our choice. You never told me, neither did I ask what it is that you like. Today, as I see you ageing mother, it hurts to realize how I have always unheard your voice.

But above all these mistakes, there is a truth hidden deep in my heart. I have always loved you, mother. I slept peacefully at home, only after hearing you snore softly. That was my way to know you are safe and sound. Since the time I have been away from home, hearing to your voice has been the only way to stay close. Today, when I found it shaken, burdened with worries of health, my heart ached. Not just I, no child ever on this earth can describe all the sacrifices you made, all the love and blessing you have bestowed. I not even aim to try that. All I mean to say is get well soon, O mother. Mothers are the strongest creatures who endure all for their child. Endure this for me and get well.

You are the necessity to my existence.  Mitch Albom correctly says,

“But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begin.”
Till you exist, my story exists, O mother!

With love

Yours’ insincere daughter

THE THREE MISTAKES OF MY LIFE

Hey buddy; it has been long time since I wrote anything. 

Well most of the October I have been travelling, and most of the November I have been thinking hard, trying to introspect. 
I had loads of inspiration from beautiful Mother Nature to write during my visit to South India and have almost a dozen of unedited articles right now.

But today, a strange realization dawned upon, instantly making me post this. 
Like everyone else, my life has been tough too. No, I am not here to tell you how difficult the journey has been, but how I made it more difficult for myself.

Whenever faced with a difficult situation, I do try to overcome the obstacles but with a thought of it being a difficult situation in my mind rather than taking it just as a challenge of life. This is the first mistake of my life.
When you think of such situations as difficulties or obstructions life becomes a journey and you start passing the years rather than living. 
Now I take them as a challenge and feel life is a game; a wild adventure. I enjoy my trains getting diverted, travelling in general class, sleeping on floor at railway stations and any other stuffs that come my way. I take it as a game where every match needs to be played so well, that either I could share tales of my bravery or my craziness with folks.
This makes life easier, as losing has become just a part of the game adding up to my craziness tales; with many more matches yet to play.

During my schooldays, I had a friend, who would always tell me that “I make things bitter with my thoughts when they could get better”. I always thought of that guy as a jerk, never paying heed to his words - The second mistake of my life. How could I make it bitter I used to rebuke. Just by attitude he said, but I never understood.

Half of the time we are listening and following people’s unintelligent advice while ignoring the intelligent ones. Had I paid heed to those words, neither would I have this second mistake nor the first mistake of my life.  

Today, I ask, do you do the same buddy? Try it, tell yourself that things are good and will get better soon, and sure they would. This is indeed a psychological process. Our mind and heart accepts what we tell it. That is why, saying “All is well” like Aamir Khan in Three Idiots makes one feel so well.  Now all I do when disheartened is to gently place a hand on my chest and utter those three magical words, “All is well”. Trust me it works, buddy, after all Dil to Bacha Hai Ji(heart is a child).

 The biggest mistake, the third mistake of my life has been expectations. Like million other humans, I believed; a friend, a soul-mate, a lover or an angel could ease my pain. The tough experiences of the past do affect our soul, leaving a little sadness, bitterness in it. I committed the blunder of looking elsewhere for the balm of this pain. Someone would come and ease me of the pain like a magic I thought. I forgot, one could not be cured by external lotions when the wound is inside. Your soul is closest to you buddy. No one else can understand it like you, no one else can talk to that inner voice but only you. You have to cure it for your ignorance only wounds it and the heart. 
It took me a while to understand; cost me some friends, relations due to the expectations I had.
Sit for a day or two alone and then you will realize where the hurt is, what the cure is and all that you want from life. You have to be your savior buddy, for everyone else is busy carrying their share of burden, saving their lives.

Somewhere in this busy life,
Somewhere in this technologically progressive world,
One shut the doors to his heart and suppress his inner voice,
He forgets what makes him feel that he feels today, such loud is the noise!!!

Listen, listen this soft whisper buddy, your soul needs to talk to let things go by!!